


Duckies

by Sleepy_Sungie



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Age Play, Age Regression/De-Aging, Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Bang Chan is Whipped, Caregiver!Chan, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Depression, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Forehead Kisses, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I WILL WARN YALL AND MARK WHERE ITS SAFE, Kim Seungmin is Whipped, Lee Minho | Lee Know is Whipped, M/M, More tags later, Non-Sexual Age Play, Pacifiers, Self-Harm, Sleepy Cuddles, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Yang Jeongin | I.N is Whipped, bottles, hyunjin is baby, little!jisung, pull ups, sippy cups
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:33:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 17,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23239249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sleepy_Sungie/pseuds/Sleepy_Sungie
Summary: Jisung thought for sure he’d grown out of it. After years of suppressing and hiding it, he thought it finally went away. But what happens when it becomes more prominent than ever?
Comments: 44
Kudos: 300





	1. Hide (and don’t seek)

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic

It was a few months after the boys have finally debuted and were now officially Stray Kids. They were all running off the highs of all the shows and interviews, and they showed no signs of slowing down anytime soon. 

When they weren’t at home, they were in the studio or dancing. They were all working tirelessly towards their next comeback, though the three who were at the studio the most was 3racha. More often than not they were in the studio more than their dorm, and they only leave when the other members drag them home. 

Tonight was no exception. 

Jisung was stressed. No, he was passed stressed, if there was even a word for that. He rubbed his tired eyes and frustratedly ran his fingers through his hair. The harsh computer light showed 02:37 and he slumped back in his chair. 

He knew he needed to go back home and sleep, but he wanted to just finish the damn track. He decided he would just take a quick break and then finish. After tapping his code into his phone, he went on his social media, mindlessly tapping through stories when something caught his eye. 

It was a light blue-green pacifier with little yellow duckies on it. He wanted it.

 _‘What?! No.’_ He slammed his phone on the table and stood up. _‘No.’_ He was done with that. ‘ _I_ _outgrew it!...Right?’_

He shook his head and tapped on the keyboard, determined to finish the track and forget this ever happened. But then he started thinking about the pacifier, how good it would feel in his mouth, and how calm he woul-

_NO. Focus!_

The time was flashing 03:12. 

He was tapping away at the keyboard when his eyes kept getting heavier and heavier. He felt his head slowly get more fuzzy every time he fought to keep his eyes open. He didn’t even notice when his thumb entered his mouth, but he didn’t care, he was sleepy. He started sucking on his thumb and was drifting into sleep when someone came in suddenly. 

”Sungie, it’s time to come home!” Minho said 

Jisung didn’t even get a chance to get a word out when a small sob escaped his mouth and tears started gathering in his eyes. He was in little space. Fully. And now he was crying in front of Minho, who wasn’t holding him. He cried harder.

Minho stood there for a moment, stunned. Jisung had his thumb in his mouth and was sobbing in his chair. He looked so upset. 

Minho closed the door and sat on the floor, quickly pulling Jisung into his lap. He wrapped the crying boy in his arms and gently rocked him back and forth as he pet his hair.

”You’re okay baby boy, it’s alright.” Minho soothed. Soon enough the loud sobs turned into small sniffs and drying tears.

“Ready to go home baby?” Minho asked and Jisung nodded

 _‘He looks really cute.’_ Minho decided. Jisung has slightly messed up hair, red puffy eyes, and squishy cheeks with tears dried on them. He looks so childish and innocent. His thumb remains in his mouth, the only sounds being their breathing and light suckling sounds as they walked home. 

When they _do_ arrive home, Minho carries Jisung to his room and slips some sweat pants and one of Minho’s hoodies over his head. They’re practically hanging off of the boys small frame, making him that much cuter. Minho goes to change too, but is quickly stopped by Jisungs quickened breathing. 

”Shh, no it’s okay. I’m not going to leave you, I’m just getting dressed Sungie, it’s alright. I’m here.” Minho coos. 

That seems to work because Minho gets to shove some shorts and a shirt on before climbing into the bed next to the little. Jisung wastes no time in clinging to the older. Minho chuckles as Jisung nuzzles his head in Minho’s chest and inhaled his scent, now feeling completely safe and warm. 

”Go to sleep baby boy.” Minho whispers as he kisses his forehead. 

Jisungs breathing evens out and the little sucking noise becomes one of the few sounds left. Minho pulls the boy closer and finally allows sleep to take over, knowing a discussion will be had tomorrow. But for now, he’s content enjoying Jisung sleeping in his arms. 


	2. Word search

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk if I put this in the first chapter, but here’s a list of the couples:  
> Chan (Chan)  
> Minho/Jisung (MinSung)  
> Changbin/Felix (ChangLix)  
> Hyunjin/Seungmin/Jeongin (HyunMinIn)
> 
> Also I really loved Wheres_My_Badger work ‘Snips, snails, and puppy dog tails’ YOU N E E D TO CHECK IT OUT!!

”Sungie, wake up... come on,” Minho whispered, gently shaking the boy currently wrapped around him. 

Jisung groaned and stretched a bit, a cute little pout adorning his chubby cheeks. However, this cute moment was short lived because the memories of yesterday suddenly filled his head and he began hyperventilating. 

_He’s going to hate me. They’re going to kick me out of the band. They’re going to think I’m weird. They’re gonna-_

“Jisung, I need you to breathe for me.” Minho’s calm voice said. 

Jisung blindly searches the room to see if anyone else was in there, but there were none. It was just him and Minho, but that didn’t stop the tears. 

”Y-you weren’t s-sup-posed to f-find out!” Jisung cried “I-I’m so sorry. I’m s-sorry hyung. I’ll *gasp* s-stop doing it *gasp* I promise!” The boy was sobbing and gasping for air as snot ran down his face. 

Minho pulled him into his arms “Hey, shh, relax a bit. I’m not judging you and you don’t have to stop anything. The only thing you have to stop right now is your hyperventilating. Okay? Do you think you can do that for me?” He asked. Jisung nodded yes. 

After about five minutes the tears slow and his breathing went to a normal pace. He kept sniffling because his nose was running so badly. Minho reaches to the bedside table and passes him a tissue. 

”Now, before you start panicking again, can I speak my thoughts?” Minho asked gently. Jisung nodded. “Okay. Firstly, I _do not_ think you are weird or need mental help or ANY of that. I kinda had a feeling this was going on.”

Jisung looked up at him surprised. “What? What do you mean?”

”Well, what really stood out was when we were all under stress filming the show before we debuted and you would whine more and just act smaller. Chan and I had a feeling you were a little then, we just didn’t want to say anything and make you uncomfortable. But when you get really sleepy your thumb always runs along your bottom lip or you’ll get really clingy to one of the guys.” Minho explains

”So Chan-hyung knows too??” Jisung asked, his cheeks turning pink. Minho nodded. Jisung buries his head in the pillows and groans, clearly embarrassed. 

Minho had to stop himself from melting. “But, Jisung, there’s still some things we have to discuss.” He said and Jisung sat up sighing. 

”I know hyung. Do we have to?” He asked, Minho nods

”Okay. Well what needs discussed? I just want to get this over with.” 

”I’ll just list them and you can answer them. 1. How long have you been a little? 2. What’s your little age? 3. Why have you been hiding it?” Minho listed. 

Jisung put his hands on his face and slid them down. “Before I answer, can I ask you something?”

”Sure,”

”How exactly did you and Chan hyung know about this stuff?” Jisung asks. 

Minho turns a little pink and clears his throat “Umm... well... we were both caregivers or wanted to be and yeah...” 

Jisung was satisfied with his answer and took a deep breath before continuing on with Minho’s questions

“I’ve been a little since I was 16. I don’t know what drew me to it, but I was on tumblr one day and I saw this blog and it just looked so...nice. I tried it out and I loved it because I felt floaty. I don’t really know much about myself in headspace because I usually jolt myself out of it. I thought I finally got rid of it,” he now starts crying slightly angry tears “but I didn’t. I thought if no one knew it’d be fine. But...” he choked on a sob 

Minho hugs him and gives him the stability he needs. “But now you know. And you probably want to break up with me because it’s disgusting.” He cries. 

Minho’s heart breaks at the sound of his boyfriend being so sad. 

”Honey, no. I’m not breaking up with you.” He kisses Jisung. “I actually want to know if you’d let me be your caregiver.”

Jisung shot backwards “R-Really?” 

”Yes Sung, and I think Channie-hyung would love to as well. But you have to tell me what you’re comfortable with. I can even tell Chan one-on-one, but ONLY if you want me to.” 

”Yeah, I think that’d be okay.” He says quietly. 

Minho smiles “Okay. Now we gotta get ready for practice.” 

“Wait, what time is it! Why didn’t yo-...” Minho smiled and waited “you let Chan hyung know we needed to talk, didn’t you?” Jisung asked

”Noooo, we’re just a half an hour late.” Minho said sarcastically. He ruffles Jisungs hair “Yes I did, you dork.” 

Jisung playfully hit his chest. Minho pinned him down and started giving him sloppy kisses as retaliation. 

”Yah! Stoooop! You kiss like a dog!” Jisung giggles and Minho stops his assault, only to cuddle the younger. 

”Hyuunnngg we have to go to practice.” Jisung whines

”They can wait ten more minutes.” Minho said, although his voice is a bit muffled from Jisungs shirt. 


	3. Follow the leader

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is either going to be a two part chapter or I might just come back tomorrow and finish it, idk

It has been 2 weeks and six days since Minho and Jisung had talked. It has been 2 weeks and five days since Chan and Minho had talked. Everything seemed to be normal. But it honestly wasn’t. 

No matter how many times Jisung heard it was okay, he felt like they were lying. Besides, it’s not like there were many moments that presented themselves where he could be alone with at least one of the two eldest. 

Everyone could tell something was wrong. Jisung was getting snippy with the boys, and Chan and Minho seemed antsy. No matter what anyone said or did, it seemed to somehow further add to Jisungs irritation. Often times he would just shove his earbuds in and ignore everyone, or he’d just shut himself in his room.

Right now, however, Jeongin was sprawled on the couch with his head in Hyunjins lap. Chan was sitting on the loveseat reading a book with most of his body leaning against the arm. The rest of the boys are out grocery shopping, and Jisung was (you guessed it) in his bunk.   
  
”Chan hyung?” Jeongin asked

chan hummed in acknowledgment 

“What’s going on with Jisung hyung?” He asked

Chan looked up from his book, a crease forming in his brow as he thought about how to answer the maknae. He knows EXACTLY what the problem is with Jisung, he needs to slip and relax in headspace. But he also knows that Jisung doesn’t want anyone else to know. 

”He’s just being a hormonal teen Innie.” Chan decided on. Jeongin nodded, deciding not to push it any further. 

Just then everyone came bustling in the door, loud and rambunctious as always. Chan just sighed and gave a small smile closing his book, knowing he wouldn’t be able to read it with all the noise anyway. He stood and cracked his back then walked into the kitchen to help put the groceries away. 

Hyunjin snorted at the youngest “You look like your brain is gonna burst.”

Jeongin just glared a little “There’s something going on, more than him just being an angsty teen.”

Hyunjin rolled his eyes and proceeded to roll the boy off his lap laughing. 

”Hyung!” Jeongin whined and pouted. 

”Aish, come here.” Hyunjin giggled as he helped Jeongin up and planted a kiss on his lips. ”Better?”

Jeongin nodded and grabbed the tv remote, looking for something to watch as Seungmin and Minho came into the room and sat. 

~

Jisung was running out of things to keep his mind off of it. And he can feel his emotions are beginning to get a bit out of his control. He knows he needs to sli- 

_No. I’m perfectly fine. I don’t need that shit. Nope._

Just at that moment his stomach growled. He got up and sighed, collecting himself before he went outside. However, the second he opened the door, he felt his annoyance spike. Felix and Seungmin were arguing about something, Bang Chan wasn’t making them be quiet, and Hyunjin was holding Jeongin. He wanted to be held. He huffed and went to the kitchen to grab something when he heard someone. 

”What?” Jisung asked, his voice clipped

”I said, you should probably wait to eat.” Changbin suggested. 

And for some ungodly reason this is what sets Jisung off. He slammed his hand down on the counter making Changbin jump as Chan and Minho came into the kitchen. 

”And you should probably mind your business.” Jisung snapped. The room went quiet. 

”I am your hyung! Do not disrespect me like that! What is your problem lately??” Changbin yelled. 

Right when Jisung was about to give some smartass remark, his little side decided enough was enough, and he started crying. Changbin immediately lost all of his anger and was replaced with regret. 

”Jisung I-“ he tried

”Changbin, it’s okay. I’ll explain later, just go tell the guys to go to the studio to practice.” Chan said as Minho scooped the sobbing Jisung off the floor. 

”O-okay?” Changbin did as he was asked. And after some whines and protests, the five others were out of the dorm. 

”shhhh. It’s okay Sungie.” Minho stroked his hair and rocked him back and forth. Jisung started to suck on Minho’s shirt when Chan came back with a small cardboard box.

”Hey, sweetie no. Here, suck on this instead” Chan said as he gently placed a pacifier in Jisungs mouth. This made Jisung calm down immediately. 

”Can I hold you now Sungie?” Chan asked and Jisung nodded. Minho passed the youngest to the leader and had to restrain himself from squishing the boys rosy cheeks. 

Once Jisung was comfortable on Chan’s lap, Minho reached into the small box and pulled out something soft. Jisungs eyes got wide and his paci nearly fell out of his mouth when he saw the bright yellow plushie. 

”DUCKIE!” He squealed

Chan and Minho melted as the boy cuddles the stuffie to his face. He looked as if this was the best thing that’s ever happened to him. His eyes opened and he looked hesitantly at the older boys. 

”Keep?” He asked shyly. Chan and Minho frowned then nodded

”Yes baby boy, these are yours.” Minho said 

Jisungs bottom lip wobbled and tears filled his eyes. Chan pulled him close and hugged him. 

”Aww, what’s the matter Sungie?” He asked

The boy wipes his eyes with his whole hand and says “Sungie h-happy.” 

The older boys coo and pepper him with kisses making the boy giggle cutely. 


	4. Follow the leader pt.2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I accidentally exited the site and I didn’t save this chapter WHICH WAS ALMOST DONE. So now I’m gonna rewrite it 🤡🤡🤡

”Changbin, it’s okay. I’ll explain later, just go tell the guys to go to the studio to practice.” Chan said as Minho scooped the sobbing Jisung off the floor. 

”O-okay?” Changbin did as he was asked. 

He hurried into the living room where the rest of the boys were. They might not have heard the yelling, but they definitely can hear Jisungs wails right now. Seungmkn looked somewhat calm sitting in the arm chair, Felix was inching towards the kitchen, which Changbin promptly shooed them back to the living room. Hyunjin looked tense and concerned, and Jeongin just looked confused.

They were all talking hurriedly and had the same concerned look adorning their features. 

“Alright, put your shoes on, we're going to the studio.” Changbin announced over their confused conversations. Several whines could be heard. 

”What’s going on?” Felix asked but Changbin shrugged. 

”I’m not going _anywhere_ until I know that Jisung is okay.” Hyunjin said as he crossed his arms. 

They all started talking over one another at that point and Changbin just wanted to do what Chan asked him to do. 

”Hey... hey.... HEY!” Changbin yelled. They got silent. He glanced at the youngers, silencing the protests over the situation. 

”Hyunjinnie, I know you’re upset that you’re not there to comfort Jisung, but we need to listen to Chan. This goes for everyone. Chan and Minho have Jisung and I know they are going to take good care of him. I’m sure Bang Chan asked me to take us to the studio so they can have the space and quiet they need to take care of him. So can we please put our shoes on and get to the studio please.” Changbin explained

The boys sighed and put their shoes on, knowing they’re probably right. This worked because soon enough the boys were in the studio dancing. 

Jeongin got the audio going and the music for ‘Hellevator’ was blaring through the speakers. Felix and Hyunjin were in the front teaching the choreography and Changbin, Seungmin, and Jeongin were behind the two instructors, trying their best to mirror the powerful movements. 

After trying for about thirty minutes, they decided to take a break. Well, everyone except Hyunjin. The air was tense and everyone was concerned. They just wanted Jisung to be okay. They all watched Hyunjin dance with his eyes closed, thinking their own thoughts when Hyunjin started dancing differently. 

Hyunjin was in his own world. He thought that if he danced, it would distract him from his stress. His movements were lost in his brain. His surroundings faded out to static as his emotions started to catch up with him. His head keeps getting fuzzier the longer he thinks about how Jisung was crying. He didn’t know his movements were getting progressively less coordinated or that the guys were watching him, getting more concerned with each beat of the music. Hyunjin only realized he had his lip between his teeth when he felt the sharp pinch of his teeth on the tender skin. 

Seungmin and Jeongin locked eyes and mouthed “Slipping?” Simultaneously just as it happened. 

Felix asked “Hey, are you okay hyung?” and that’s what finally made Hyunjin drop. 

His lower lip quivered and he dropped to the floor crying. Seungmin rushes to the boy and lifts him in his arms, whispering to him as he hurries out the studio doors. Whereas Jeongin looks at Changbin and says “Hyung, we need your studio.”

Changbin and Jeongin rush ahead of the two as Changbin punches in the passcode for them. Seungmin is bouncing Hyunjin on his hip as he enters and sits on the couch, Jeongin almost closes the door, but he turns and gives Changbin a tight hug “I promise you I’ll explain later.” And closes the door. 

Changbin feels as this is the reoccurring theme of today. He walks back to the practice room and gives the excuse that Hyunjin is stressed and worried about Jisung. 

Meanwhile, in Changbins studio, Jeongin locks the door as he hears a broken cry from the couch. 

”A-appa.” Hyunjin cries and In hurries to him

”Shhh, appa is here baby, it’s okay.” Jeongin coos as the boy takes one of the hands he was clinging onto Seungmin with to put his thumb in his mouth. This calms him significantly.

”H-hyungie?” Hyunjin asks after awhile

”What’s the matter baby?” Seungmin whispers

”Why is Sungie s-sad?” He whimpers, new tears forming and running down his cheeks. 

The youngers coo and hold the boy tighter rocking him as they wait for him to settle. 

”We don’t know. But you’re such a sweet boy for worrying about Sungie.” Jeongin wipes the tears off of Hyunjins face. 

Hyunjin sniffles and nods, cuddling further into Seungmins chest.

”You’re appa and hyungies good boy aren’t you?” Seungmin coos making Hyunjin blush and giggle. 

”Yes you are baby. You’re our baby boy.” Jeongin says and blows a raspberry on Hyunjins tummy, making him squeal and laugh.

The boys notice his fluttering eyes and know it’s time to get him home and in the bath. He doesn’t protest as Jeongin picks him up and walks him home. The others already left and are in bed when they get home. 

The trio goes into the bathroom and they decide the best way to get things done is for Seungmin to stay with Hyunjin and start the shower and get him undressed while Jeongin gets all of their clothes. And they’ll all meet in the shower. 

Hyunjin starts to whine when his clothes are taken off “Hyungie. Cold!” He pouts, seungmin chuckles and helps him in the shower as Jeongin places their clothes on the counter and throws their dirty clothes in the hamper. Seungmin and Jeongin follow Hyunjin in the shower and quickly wash themselves before they start washing hyunjin. Jeongin gently massages the boys scalp and Seungmin washes his body, tickling him every so often to keep him awake. Jeongin dries off and quickly gets dressed as he stands on the outside of the shower wrapping the little in a fluffy towel. Seungmin shoves his pjs on and brushes his baby’s teeth, who’s almost asleep by now. 

”Okay baby boy, let’s get you dressed and then we can go to bed.” Jeongin says as he slips the boys pacifier between his lips. He pulls out Hyunjins diaper and immediately gets an unhappy response from the boy.

”Appa, I don’t want a diaper.” Hyunjin whines.

Jeongin sighs “Honey, you need to wear something. How about a pull up because you’re a big boy?” Hyunjin takes a moment to think before nodding.

He has the boy steady himself by holding onto Jeongins shoulders as he steps into his pull up. Then he puts on his onesie and pulls his sweats overtop to make it less conspicuous. 

”There we go baby boy. Do you want your sippy before bed?” Jeongin asks

Hyunjin shakes his head “No appa. I s’eepy.” He slurs around his pacifier. Jeongin melts and can’t stop himself from squishing his cheeks. 

”You’re so precious baby. It’s bedtime. I’m sure hyungie and blubs is waiting for us.” Hyunjin perks up a bit at the mention of his stuffed fish. 

They climb into bed finally, with hyunjin between seungmin and jeongin. 

They both tell him goodnight and kiss his forehead. It doesn’t take long for little suckling sounds and shallow breaths to fill the night air as the boys cuddle into a cozy sleep. 


	5. Tic Tac Toe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ! ! ! W A R N I N G ! ! !
> 
> This chapter will feature self harm and depression!! But I will mark where so you can skip it if you’d like and I’ll also mark where it’s safe to read

It comes at no surprise that Jisung was struggling with accepting that he’s a little. He wishes he wasn’t. He sometimes wishes he could just be like Chan and not have to rely on anyone.

After the scene in the kitchen he’s been avoiding everyone. He really only tries to act normal if he has to go to the studio or to practice. Even then he knows he’s still managing to isolate himself. He used to do it a lot in high school. Usually right before a depressive episode...

He tells himself that it’s probably nothing and continues on with his day.

Its Saturday night and he and the guys are watching a comedy in the living room. For some reason, Jisung wasn’t laughing like the others, he _couldn’t_ laugh like the others. He felt something dull and heavy settle in his chest, and that’s when he knows. He’s in a depressive episode.

The movie ends and he stands and stretches, announcing he’s going to go take a shower. He grabs his black towel, pajamas, and a blade he kept in his drawer for when he would do crafts. He closed the bathroom door and locked it. He is so mad that this is happening again.

> * * *
> 
> **! ! ! W A R N I N G ! ! !**

The most frustrating part is the fact that he feels every negative emotion at once, but he can’t cry to get them out. Jisung is just utterly numb. The voices in his head are constantly bickering about him and he wishes they would just shut up.

He picks up the razor and holds it with a shaky grip. He looks up at the mirror and glances at the reflection staring back at him. He hunches over the sink and looks closer.

’Have I always been this ugly?’ 

He stands straight and turns his body so he can see himself from the side. He moves his shirt so it shows his figure. Once he’s done examining that side, he turns to examine the other. 

’Have I always been this fat?’ 

He unlocks his phone and turns the volume all the way up as he plays his playlist. He sets the phone on the counter and puts the razor on the edge of the shelf in the shower and undresses. He closes the shower door and turns the water to hot, but it’s too hot so he turns it down a bit. 

He washes his hair and body, watching the white suds run down the drain. The razor looks so inviting. He grabs it and sits on the floor of the shower. His entire surroundings just turn to static. 

He knows exactly where to cut so no one sees. He grips the top of the sharp metal and presses it into his thigh, just about an inch from his hip bone, not puncturing the skin but just resting there. He takes a deep breath and swipes the blade across his muscle and watches as red starts beading along his pale skin. He hisses as the second time pinches more than the first. He just keeps doing it over and over again until he’s shaking and has run out of room on the two inch space he’s allowed himself. He watches his blood tinge the water pink.

It’s enough for right now. He sits for a minute and looks at his bleeding legs. He knows it’s not good, but at least now he feels something other than numb. He stands slowly and shuts off the water. He steps out of the shower and drys off his body with his black towel, avoiding his thighs. He’s slipping his shirt over his head when he felt something warm trickle past his knee. He looks down and sees red.

He sighs and grabs the first aide kit under the sink. He sets it on the counter and opens it, putting a large bandage on both legs then takes the gauze and delicately wraps his thighs, making sure to add pressure so they’ll stop bleeding.

> !!! S A F E A F T E R T H I S !!!
> 
> * * *

  
He puts his pajamas on and his earbuds in, acting like he doesn’t hear the guys trying to talk to him. He curls up in his blankets and holds his pillows as he lets his music lull him to sleep. 

This is what he’s been doing for three weeks. No one has noticed yet. Chan and Minho have been anxiously awaiting his next slip, but it just won’t come. They’ve asked him if everything was okay, and they actually believed him when he said yes. They haven’t caught on to his daily routine.

Jisung gets up, goes to the bathroom, changes his bandages and flushes them down the drain. He then goes to the kitchen and eats, chatting with the guys as if nothing was wrong. He finishes and grabs his clothes in his room, then heads to the bathroom to throw up and change out of his pajamas. He brushes his teeth and waits to leave for practice, practices and tries not to wince at the ache from the previous nights wounds, goes home and eats dinner and might even play some games or watch a movie with the boys. Then he turns on his music in the bathroom, throws up then cuts his hips or thighs in the shower, then goes to bed and repeats the entire process again the next day.

Today though, is already off to an unscheduled tempo. Jisung doesn’t like that, it makes him stressed and anxious. 

Chan comes into his room and tells the inhabitants that today is their day off. He then announces that breakfast is on the table and retreats to the kitchen. Jisung frowns as Felix begins to pester him to make him get up. The boy flops dramatically onto the bed, and unknowingly falls directly onto Jisungs wounds. 

”AAH!” He whimpers loudly, causing Felix to scramble off of him and Seungmin to turn around and look at him. 

He quickly gets up and covers it up by hunching over acting as if he were hit in the balls, making Seungmin laugh. 

”Oh shit, my bad Ji!” Felix apologizes

Jisung just nods and slowly acts normal after a second. 

”You sure you’re alright?” Felix checks

“Yeah, I’ll be out in a minute. Im gonna change. See ya at breakfast.” He says and this gets the Aussie to leave.

He shucks his pj bottoms off and examines his legs. Luckily his cuts didn’t bust open. They’ve finally got enough stability to not need band-aides. He puts some black adidas track pants on and a white v neck and heads to breakfast. 

Changbin and Hyunjin were playing video games in the living room, Chan and was doing the dishes with a parental-like aura surrounding him.Seungmin and Jeongin were playfully arguing about who was worse at dancing when Minho shut them up by saying they were both awful, making Jisung laugh as he entered and sat next to his boyfriend.

”Good morning jagi.” Minho smiles and pecks his lips. Jisung just hummed a morning back as he got a plate and started eating.

“Hey, does anyone want to come shopping with Lixie and me?” Changbin asks. 

”No thanks hyung; Seungmin and Jeongin are going to the park with me!” Hyunjin says excitedly making everyone smile.

”I’m gonna make Minho watch movies with me and Chan,” Jisung says. 

Soon enough, the five other boys leave the dorm. Leaving just Chan, Minho, and Jisung. 

They bring a big fluffy blanket out and decide to watch Chicken Little. After hitting play and getting comfy on the couch, Jisung starts watching the movie. He doesn’t even notice his transition into his headspace. But Chan and Minho know the minute his thumb starts pulling on his lower lip. 

Minho silently gets up and grabs Sungies paci and his stuffie, which he expertly named Duckie, and comes back to see Jisung cuddled into Chan. He slides next to the boy and gently places the pacifier in the boys open mouth, making Chan and Minho chuckle when he jumps. He smiles and giggles when he’s given Duckie though. He loves watching the movie and excitedly tells the older two what each animal is. 

Jisung would happily squirm and point at the tv then announce “Fishy!” Or “Piggie!” And Chan and Minho would shower him in praise every time he did it making the boy blush and giggle happily. 

It was all going good until Chan decided to caress Jisungs hip with his thumb. Jisung jumped and whimpered making both boys look at him in confusion. But Jisung was already invested in the movie before either could ask.

Eventually the movie ended and Sungie stretches once again calling out in pain. 

”Sungie, baby, what’s the matter?” Chan asks 

Jisung pouts and points to his legs and hips and says “Ouchie.”

Chan and Minho think it’s his muscles aching from the choreography and decide to draw him a warm bath to relax him a little bit. They think nothing about how much lighter the boy is as they sit Sungie on the toilet lid. Minho goes to get him a sippy cup with apple juice and Chan works on filling the tub. 

Minho comes back and starts to take Jisungs shirt off, blowing raspberries on his rosy cheek to make him giggle happily. Hearing that adorable laugh always makes Minho and Chan smile. However, after pulling Jisung pants off, no one was smiling then. 

Minhos entire face fell as he was presented with the wounds littering his baby’s body. Jisung started crying because his pants scraping his cuts really hurt. And Chan turned around because Minho was slapping his shoulder. Chan tried to see what the hell the problem was, and when he did his heart stopped.

”Sungie, baby... where did those come from?” Chan asked shakily

Jisung sniffed and said “Jisung sad so he hurt Sungie.” He pouted. 

Minho pulled the boy in his arms so he didn’t have to see the tears filling up his eyes.

”How could we not have noticed this. How could _I_ not have noticed this! I’m his _boyfriend_ and I-...” 

“Minho, this is not your fault. It’s no ones. We just need to take more caution now.” Chan said. Both of their hearts broke at the thought of Jisung hurting like that alone. But they try not to think of that right now and decide to just enjoy Jisung in his slowly regressing headspace.

They let Jisung play with the bubbles as long as he wanted, and he ended up slipping further into headspace and needed Chan to support him so he wouldn’t drown. 

They get him out of the tub and dry him off. His eyes are just so wide and trusting as he looks up at his caregivers. He sneezes and surprises himself, making the older boys melt and coo. Jisung reaches up and gently touches Minho’s hair, softly giggling. Minho raises his eyebrow and shakes his hair causing the littles eyes to scrunch up and give a happy wiggle.

”Aigoo! You’re gonna be the death of me Sungie.” Chan says as he carries the boy to his room. They then lay him on his back to put a diaper on him because they don’t want him to have an accident and zip up a one piece pajama. He looks so cute with his paci and onesie. 

They tried feeding him a bottle, but he was too fussy and clearly just wanted to sleep. After all, it was nearing midnight and everyone must’ve come home and went to bed somewhere between the movie and his bath. So Chan and Minho gently lay their baby boy down in between them petting his hair and hum him to sleep. 


	6. Playground

“Okay baby, let hyungie put your shoes on.” Seungmin told Hyunjin as he slipped the boys shoes on and tied them. Hyunjin just sat there happily squirming as he did. 

Jeongin was in their bedroom packing a backpack so they had everything ready for Hyunjin while regressed. He packed a pull up, an extra pair of pants, a water bottle with a nipple-like top, animal crackers, and a blanket for sitting. He walks up to Hyunjin, Seungmin bent over tying his shoes.

”Do you want your paci, sweetie?” He asks Hyunjin.

”Yes please, appa.” He says sweetly.

”Alright, but you know if we go out with it in that you have to wear a mask.” Jeongin reminded him, he nodded and obediently opens his mouth so the maknae can place the soothing rubber tip on his tongue and wraps his lips around it. They place his mask over top and head to the park. 

They walk and Hyunjin stops every so often to look at a flower or say hi to a puppy, but the two caregivers stop him before he can cross the street. “Hold hyungies and appa’s hand so we can cross” Seungmin says. 

Hyunjin nods and grabs their hands as they cross the street to the empty playground. Jeongin quickly takes out his paci so he doesn’t fall and choke. They can tell Hyunjin is itching to play but is waiting for the okay.

Jeongin chuckles and says “You can go play with hyungie,sweetie. I’ll be over in a second.” And the boys eyes almost disappear with how happy he looks.

He grabs Seungmins hand and pulls him to the big tower. Jeongin comes over shortly after, grinning as he can hear Jinnie telling Seungmin how to play. 

“Hyungie is the dragon, Appa is the knight, and I’m the princess who needs to be saveded!” He says excitedly.

Seungmin starts flapping his arms and slowly chases Hyunjin around the tower. Hyunjin yells and tries to get away from him.

”I’ll save you Princess Jinnie!” Jeongin announces and runs up the stairs and over the flimsy bridge and up the ramp to where his boyfriends are. Seungmin grabs Hyunjin and starts tickling him, causing him to giggle and squeal. 

”Save me from the dragon appa!” He yells. 

”Unhand the pretty princess, dragon!” He yells and Seungmin turns around and spreads out his ‘wings’ which Jeongin pokes him in the side and he falls slowly with gurgling noises. He even makes a point to stick out his tongue to prove he’s dead. 

”You saved me appa!” Hyunjin claps happily. Jeongin picks him up and smiles. 

”Yep. And now the princess must give the knight a kiss for saving them.” He states. So Hyunjin squishes Jeongins cheeks together to make his lips pucker and plants a kiss on them. He giggles cutely and blushes. 

”Now we have to save mr.dragon appa!” He says seriously. Jeongin sets the little down and melts as he cuddles Seungmin and peppers kisses all over his face and one where he was poked to ‘heal his boo-boos’. Seungmin gasps and sits up, making Hyunjin cheer and clap adorably in his lap. 

”Hyungie okay!!” He squeals and Seungmin just smiles and nods. 

The sun was getting close to setting and Hyunjin was further regressing, so they call it a day and walk their princess home. They go to bathe him but the door was locked and Hyunjin was now in baby space. Felix and Changbin are on their way home, so Seungmin just makes Hyunjin a bottle as Jeongin puts him into a diaper and his starry onesie. 

Seungmin lays his baby in his lap and tilts his head back as he slips the bottles nipple into his mouth. The boy immediately starts to suck on the milk, closing his eyes contently. Jeongin takes a mental snapshot of this precious moment: Seungmin looking at Hyunjin like he is his whole world as Hyunjin stares back with large and trusting eyes and rosy cheeks as he suckles on the warm milk. 

As soon as the bottle is done, they lay down to go to sleep and Jeongin returns the pacifier into his baby’s mouth, quietly cooing as he sleepily accepts it and burrows into Seungmins chest, holding his stuffed fish. They all fall asleep warmly and comfortably. 


	7. Sungie Says

Minho wakes up and stretches but immediately looks at the weight on his chest. It’s Jisung sleeping cutely with his pacifier in his mouth and legs spooning Chan. This is just so precious.

He watches for a few minutes when Jisung scrunches his nose and balls into fists as he stretches, waking up. He sighs and looks up at Minho, who fully expects him to be out of little space and might even panic a bit. But boy was he wrong.

Jisung starts to cry before Minho could even say good morning. Minho frowns and picks up the boy.

”Aww, what’s the matter baby boy?” He asks, not knowing if he was verbal or not 

Jisung blushes as he quietly whimpers “change”

Minho immediately understands and sets his baby on the bed “I’ll be right back Sungie, I’m just going to get the stuff to change you.” He explains and kisses the boys forehead. “Do you want a pull-up or a diapey?”

Jisung thinks for a moment and says “pull-up”and just as he says that, Chan wakes looking bleary and dazed. Jisung seems pleased though because he immediately gasps and squishes Chan’s face. Minho smiles and goes to get the stuff. 

He’s halfway down the hallway when he steps on something hard. He stops and bends down to pick it up. It’s a pink... pacifier? But Jisungs is aqua and has ducklings on it...?

He gasps as he sees Jeongin and everything immediately clicks as he sees the maknaes panicked face. ‘ _That explains why Hyunjin gets so clingy and why he was so excited to go to the park!’_

 _“_ Hyung I can exp-” Jeongin starts

”He’s a little!” Minho whispers loudly with a huge grin, he probably looks like a maniac, but that doesn’t matter right now.

Jeongin looks dumbfounded “H-how-?” 

”Jisung is one too.” He says “We can talk later, I have to get him a pull up.”

Jeongin gasps and runs to his room, where Hyunjin and Seungmin are. He comes running back and hands Minho a pull up excitedly. Minho smiles and says “I’ll get him ready to meet his new friend!”

Minho comes back to where Chan and Sungie are and whispers to Chan the news. The leader almost hit his head on the bunk from how happy he is. Minho laughs and lays down a towel and lays Jisung on top. “Today’s a big day Sungie!” Minho says ecstatically. Jisung just cocks his head as his caregiver throws away the wet diaper.

”Yup,” Chan continues “You’re going to meet a new friend baby boy.” And Jisungs face immediately looks anxious.

”Aww, there’s no need to be nervous honey, he’s a little just like you!” Minho soothes as he wipes the little.

”Little? Sungie f’end?” The boy asks around his paci. Minho finishes changing him.

”Mhm, do you want to get ready so we can all eat breakfast with him and his caregivers?” Chan asks Jisung.

He quickly nods and Chan kisses his cheek and goes to his closet and pulls out a hidden bag. And sets it on the bed where Minho gives a knowing smile. Chan nudges it towards the youngest. He tilts his head and hesitantly places his hand softly on the paper bag.

”Fo’ Sungie?” He blushes

The caregivers chuckle and smile, reassuring the boy that it’s for him and he can open it. Just when they think they’ve stopped melting over the boy, he gently pulls out the tissue paper and smiles, excitedly thanking them for the paper.

”Aigoo! Sungie, you’re so precious!!” Minho coos and kisses his face making his baby smile and blush. 

” The present is _under_ the paper, silly!” Chan chuckles

He looks in the bag and pulls out a light blue piece of something? He gently unfolds it and gasps. It’s a light-wash denim overall romper, and on the front pocket was a patch sewn on of a pastel duckling. Jisungs face fell and his lip quivered. Chan and Minho panic for a moment, thinking they did something wrong when Jisung cuddles it to his face and cries.

Chan and Minho hold him, showering him in kisses and loving words. They never knew what a sweetheart Jisung was. He truly is a soft boy and a total angel in headspace. 

”T’ank you appa! T’ank you daddy!” Jisung sniffles and the boys hearts stop. They look at each other, shocked. 

“Sungie, can you point to appa?” Minho and Chan ask at the same time. Jisung nods and points to Minho and says “appa.” Then points to Chan and says “daddy.”

The older two start to laugh happily and cheer making the boy happy at their happiness. They hug him and he laughs cutely. 

”Sungie f’end!” He reminds them and they calm down. 

”Okay, okay baby. Hands up so daddy can put his hoodie on you.” Chan says warmly as he slips the pastel purple hoodie onto Jisungs small frame. He stands him up and tells him to hold Minho’s hands as he steps into his new romper. Once the straps were buckled Minho carries him into the bathroom to brush his bed head into something presentable. 

He kisses his head and smiles “Ready to meet your new friend Sungie?!” 

Jisung happily wiggles and gives a gummy smile “I ready appa!”


	8. Sungie says pt.2

Jeongin looks at how sweet his boyfriends look. They both have messy hair and rosy cheeks. Seungmins mouth is open and he is snoring loudly, which is probably what woke the maknae up. Seungmins arm is wrapped around Hyunjin, who is snuggled up to him, somehow sleeping soundly. But something is missing... a crease forms in Jeongins brow as he stares trying to figure out what’s missing. 

Seungmin stops snoring and groans as he wakes up. Jeongin tries not to giggle at how silly he looks. The youngest passes him his glasses to which he grunts a thank you. And Jeongin says you’re welcome in the form of a peck on the lips.

All the rustling must’ve waken Hyunjin up. He whines and nuzzles his head into Seungmins side and the other two smile at the cuteness. Jeongin gasps, knowing exactly what was missing as Hyunjin sleepily brought his thumb up to his mouth. Seungmin looked at him like he was insane, not realizing the issue.

“I must’ve dropped his paci when I took him to the bathroom earlier this morning!” Jeongin explains as he gets up and goes to look for it. He opens the bedroom door and looks towards the bathroom down the hall, and his heart _stops_.

Minho bends down and picks up Hyunjins pink pacifier and looks at it quizzically, and Jeongin would’ve laughed if it were a different situation, because he can actually see the gears turning in his hyungs head. He has to think of something to cover it up. 

_“_ Hyung I can exp-” Jeongin starts

”He’s a little!” Minho whispers loudly with a huge grin, he probably looks like a maniac, but that doesn’t matter right now.

His heart rate picks up as he looks at his hyung. His dread is now replaced with genuine curiosity and maybe even excitement.

Jeongin looks dumbfounded “H-how-?” 

”Jisung is one too.” He says “We can talk later, I have to get him a pull up.”

Jeongin gasps and runs to his room, where Hyunjin and Seungmin are. He zips through the door and over to the bottom dresser drawer and rips it open, looking for a pull up. Meanwhile, Hyunjin is on Seungmins lap with his thumb in his mouth and both boys look at each other questioningly and then at Jeongin as if he had lost his mind.

“H’ungy? Why’s appa c’azy?” Hyunjin asks around his thumb and Seungmin chuckles as the youngest disappears as soon as he arrived.

“I dunno bug, but I think we’ll find out.” 

Jeongin went running back and hands Minho a pull up excitedly. Minho smiles and says “I’ll get him ready to meet his new friend!”

Jeongin sprints back to his room excitedly and hits Seungmin softly on the arm repeatedly.

“Hey! Hey! Would you mind telling us what’s going on?” Seungmin laughs and the assault on his arm stops.

“Sungie is a little too!” He whispers in Seungmins ear and Hyunjin whines and pouts.

“Wanna know too.” He says and the caregivers smile and pinch his cheeks.

“It’s a surprise baby, but it’s gonna be a big day! We gotta get you ready to meet a new friend!” Seungmin explains and the boys face lights up. Hyunjin gasps.

”Lets go, let’s go! I make friend!” And Jeongin has to pick him up by the waist to keep him from bolting out the door. He makes a displeased noise at this.

“I know bug, but we have to get ready first.” Seungmin chuckles at the boys enthusiasm. “What do you wanna wear today hyunnie-bug?”

“Uhhh, wanna wear...” he trails off and blushes. 

“Go ahead honey, you can wear ANYTHING you want, you just can’t go nakey.” Jeongin says making him giggle.

“Otay, wanna wear pink today.” He says shyly. They kiss him and agree and then carry him to take a shower.

“Do you need help showering bug?” Seungmin asks.

“No... but hyungie and appa stay.” He says.

Hyunjin takes his shower and peeks out every so often to make sure they’re still there. He finally steps out and Jeongin immediately wraps him in a towel and blow drys his hair. Jeongin tells them he’s going to make breakfast and to come to the kitchen when he’s done getting dressed. They say okay and Seungmin asks him if he wants to wear underwear or a pull-up.

“Undies.” He says confidently. So Seungmin helps him pull up his Spider-Man underwear and a short sleeved pink onesie with snaps on the bottom overtop. He then helps him step into the tan shorts Hyunjin picked. When he’s done he tickles Hyunjins tummy making the boy give a gummy smile.

“You look so pretty baby boy!” Seungmin gushes and Hyunjin just blushes and giggles softly “Thank you hyungie!” He grabs Seungmins hand and goes to walk out of the bathroom when Seungmin stops him.

“Uh uh, you’re not going anywhere,” he says and the boys face drops “...until you give hyungie a kiss!” He finishes and Hyunjin smiles warmly and places multiple kisses all over Seungmins face. “I go noooow?” He asks making Seungmin grin and chuckle.

“Yes bug, we can go now. Are you ready to meet your new friend?” He asks

“Uh huh! Let’s gooo!” He squeals, pulling Seungmin out of the bathroom excitedly. 


	9. Play date pt.1

Jisung is nervous, no doubt. But he grabs Minho’s hand and walks slowly to the kitchen. He can do this. He’s a big boy. He knows his appa and daddy won’t let anything bad happen to him. They pause right before they can see anything in the kitchen and he takes a deep breath. Minho squeezes his hand for reassurance and they head in. 

He sees Jeongin and perks up, running over to him and hugs his waist as he makes pancakes. “Innie-h’ung little?!” He says excitedly. Jeongin turns around and hugs the boy, trying to contain himself.

“Aww, you’re so cute. I’m sorry Sungie, but I’m not the little.” He says, chuckling when Jisung pouts.

“Sungie f’end?” He asks. Jeongin kisses the top of his head. 

“Of course I’m your friend Sungie!” This makes Jisung grin.

“Why don’t you sit at the table while appa gets you a sippy, baby boy.” Minho suggests and the maknaes head pops up. 

“Wait what?” He asks, now both are confused as Chan walks in.

“My little calls me appa?” They say at the same time, erupting into laughter after. Jisung just smiles and laughs along, not really understanding what’s going on, but is happy because everyone else is.

Chan grabs a mug from the cupboard and pours himself some coffee. He sits next to Jisung who is slowly beginning to get excited. He points to Chan’s coffee and announces “b’ack!” Around his pacifier. Everyone in the kitchen coos and praises him.

Jeongin is getting plates ready when Seungmin is pulled into the kitchen by Hyunjinn. He doesn’t see Jisung and immediately smiles and hugs Minho saying “New friend! New friend!” Making everyone chuckle at how similar the two are.

“I _am_ your friend Jinnie, but not the little one.” Minho smiles and points to the table and both littles cock their heads and lock eyes. Then a split second later both run to each other and hug, nearly falling down in the process.

“Sungie!”

“Jinnie!”

The caregivers almost explode from how heartwarming this moment is. The littles laughs combined sound like the most innocent and soft thing they’ve ever heard. It’s such an adorable reaction. Jisung clings to Hyunjin and Hyunjin pets his hair.

“How old are you Sungie?” Hyunjin asks.

“I th’ee.” He says, holding up three fingers.

Hyunjin gasps and squishes his cheeks making the boy giggle and playfully push the older away “You’re small Sungie! I’m five! That means I’m your hyung.” He explains, and the younger just smiles and listens, not necessarily understanding, but happy nonetheless. 

They sit the boys down, the order from left to right is Seungmin, Hyunjin on Jeongins lap, Jisung on Minho’s lap, and Bang Chan on the end. The second pancakes were placed in front of Jisung he clapped happily and pointed to his mouth, making Minho grin. Before Minho could even feed him a bite, however, Hyunjin already had the fork in front of the boys mouth “Say aah sungie!” And Jisung happily chewed on the soft food.

“I took care of Sungie! I’m just like you and appa, hyungie!” Hyunjin beamed

“Yes you were Jinnie-bug! I’m so proud of you! Now you gotta make a happy plate.” Seungmin praises and Hyunjin complies, feeding himself while Chan feeds Sungie.

Eventually, the food is eaten and the sippy cups are empty. It’s time to play.

“Jisung, honey, where are you going?” Minho asks as the boy whines as he tries to get off of his lap.

“I go p’ay appa! I go p’ay!” He says and Minho can’t help but let him go. He starts to run, but before any of the caregivers can say anything, Hyunjin jumps in, grabbing the youngers hand.

“Don’t run Sungie, you could get hurt.” He calmly informs the boy, who nods and walks. The others melt. Today is going to be adorable!


	10. Play date pt.2

Jisung and Hyunjin went into the living room as Chan and Jeongin follows. Hyunjin looks at Jisung and smiles, “What do you wanna play Sungie?” The younger just shrugs and smiles. Hyunjin thinks for a moment before jumping up and shouting “I know!” Making Jisung jump and whimper, on the verge of crying.

Chan quickly goes to the boy and calms him down before any tears could fall. “It’s okay Sungie, he was just excited, everything is alright honey.” Chan soothes. Hyunjin pouts and he grabs Jisungs hand “Sorry Sungie, I forgot that you’re so little. Do you wanna play now?” And the younger smiles “p’ay” he says as the other two caregivers enter the room.

“D’ya wanna play my favorite game?” Hyunjin asks and Jisung nods excitedly. “Okay! Here’s how we play! My appa and your appa will be big mean dragons, and-and hyungie and your daddy will be the knights!” He says excitedly. 

Jisung cocks his head “Jinnie and sungie?”

“Oh! We’re the princesses that they gonna save and then we get kisses and we gotta save the dragons!” He explains. Jisung nods

“Sungie p’ince. Jinnie p’incess.” He states more to himself than anyone else.

“okay Prince Sungie.” Hyunjin giggles. Minho and Jeongin chuckle as they start to flap their arms. Jeongin chases Hyunjin who’s running around the couch, whereas Minho just has to ‘fly’ down to Jisung who’s sitting on the floor smiling. He reaches his arms out cutely to Minho who just chuckles “Sungie, you’re supposed to be afraid of me.”

Jisung looks at him for a second and then gives a gasp, smiling after. Everyone melts at his adorableness. Chan and Seungmin decide after about a minute of the littles being tickled and hyunjin gasping out for his hyungie, that it’s finally time to spring into action. “We are here to save the pretty princess and the handsome prince!” They announce.

Seungmin goes up to Jeongin and pretends to stab his shoulder, making the maknae groan as he sinks to the floor and ‘dies.’ All Chan has to do is poke Minho and he falls over with his eyes closed. Hyunjin was getting his kisses and was about to ‘save’ Jeongin when Jisungs lip starts to wobble. He stares at Minho and cries, holding him. “Appa die! Appa die!” He tries to tell Chan as he clings to Minho. Minho immediately shoots up and wraps the weeping boy in his embrace. “No Sungie! Appa is okay baby boy, I’m not dead sweetie. It’s okay. Appas here, I’m not going anywhere, I promise.” He coos and his baby boy calms down. Jisung slipped further into headspace as he loudly sucks on his paci and rubs Minho’s shirt between his fingers.

“Why don’t we watch a movie!” Jeongin suggests.

“Yeah, Sungie can pick it out.” Hyunjin says 

“Aww, that’s very sweet of you Jinnie, but I think Sungies too little to talk or understand.” Chan explains to the little who nods and hesitantly approaches Jisung. When he sees it’s safe he starts talking to the boy.

“We gonna watch my favorite Sungie. It’s about a princess who makes snow and her sister is funny! I’m Elsa, because duh. And you can be Olaf because you are so small and cute.” Everyone melts at how much Hyunjin loves the boy. Jisung blinks and reaches for Hyunjins hand, nuzzling it to his face, making the other glow and give a toothy smile. The entire room coos at the softness of the moment and they slide the dvd in, getting comfy on the couch.

Fifteen minutes into the movie, Jisungs tummy growls and he whines. “Are you hungry baby? Daddy will get you a bottle.” Chan says and Seungmin gets up, announcing he’s going to make lunch.

Chan gets into the ‘little drawer’ in his room and grabs a diaper, a bottle, and lounge pants for Jisung. He sets the diaper and pants on the counter as he starts to make the bottle. He chuckles at Seungmin peeling the crust off of one of the five pb&j’s. “Hyunjin doesn’t like the crust?” He asks and Seungmin smiles “Absolutely not.” A comfortable silence fills the air.

Chan goes into the living room and somehow manages to get Jisung into the bathroom and changes him with no protest from the boy. Once diapered and now comfortable, Chan puts Jisung on his hip and grabs the bottle from the microwave, sitting on the couch where the others are eating. He leans Jisung back and places the nipple at his lips, Jisung immediately latches on and sucks happily. He places his hand on Chan’s and looks at him. Chan realizes just how vulnerable the boy is and kisses his forehead.

Soon enough the bottle is empty and Jisung is content. Hyunjin is cuddled between both of his boyfriends and is paying more attention on staying awake rather than the movie. 

“Someone’s sleepy,” Seungmin chuckles as both of the littles eyes flutter. Jisung yawns cutely and nuzzles his head into Chan’s chest.

“I think it’s nap time.” Jeongin and Minho whisper. They pick up the boys and carry them to bed, not even thinking about leaving the two. Jisung falls asleep straddling Minho’s lap with his head on the olders chest. Hyunjin is curled up on Jeongins lap and sleeps while holding the maknae. It’s quiet and peaceful and everything is okay right now. 


	11. Words with friends

Jisung wakes up between Chan and Minho, remembering yesterday’s play date with Hyunjin, Jeongin, and Seungmin. He climbs out of bed and stretches. Jisung thinks of how he cried for Minho and how he slipped to non- verbal. He blushes as a zap of embarrassment runs through him for a moment, before he thinks _‘maybe it’s not that bad’.  
_

Jisung goes to the bathroom and his entire face turns red as he takes off his used pull up and hops in the shower. He takes his time to wash his hair and body before he turns of the water and dresses himself. He sees the scabs that he caused and immediately dreads the impending conversation he’s going to have with Minho and Chan. He goes back into where the two are sleeping and watches for a moment.

Chan wakes up and groans. He feels the empty space between the two and immediately searches for Jisung. His eyes land on him and Jisung has to stifle a laugh as Minho wakes too from the commotion. “What’s wrong?” Minho asks groggily.

“I thought he escaped, but he’s right there.” Chan explains. Minho nods and beckons Jisung over and pulls him in his lap and nuzzles his head on his shoulder. “Hyyuuuung!” Jisung whines, even though he secretly loves it. “You’re out of little space,” Chan says and Jisung blushes and nods. It’s silent for a second.

“We still need to talk.” Minho mutters loud enough for both boys to hear. Jisung takes a deep breath and agrees. No one moves to start the conversation, so Minho clears his throat and begins “You know we love you, right? You know _I_ love you?” He asks.

“Of course hyung,”

“And you know we are doing this because we care, _right_?” Minho asks

“Right,” he sighs 

“So my only question is why? I’m not judging you, I’m not angry, I’m just concerned.” He reassures. A beat passes.

“I-...I felt the need to. I... it was the only thing I could feel. I was just so numb, hyung, so numb. And I couldn’t say anything. I can’t help it.” He explains. and the boys nod to show they’re listening.

“Jisung-ah. You know you can always come to us when you feel this way. I know you’ve been throwing up too, that’s what you told me you did when we were training. I know you’re going to hate this, but until we get you back on track, one of us is going to have to stay with you when you go to shower. Tell us how you feel about this.” Chan says calmly.

Jisung sighs “I might not like it, but I know that it’s what needs to be done.” He says.

“Jisung, our hearts broke when we saw what was all over your body. It hurt to know that my boyfriend, who I love _so_ much, was hurting like that _alone_ and I didn’t help.” Minho’s voice broke halfway through and was blinking back tears.

Jisung says nothing and just turns around and pulls his boyfriend into his chest and holds him there. Minho’s softly crying and Jisung kisses his head. Chan wordlessly gets up and leaves the room to give the couple some needed space.

“I’ll try to get better hyung, I’ll try my best.” Jisung murmurs to him. He pulls Minho’s face up so they’re looking at one another and he wipes Minho’s tears with his thumbs and gives a small smile, making the other give a small smile. He leans in and softly connects their lips in a loving kiss.

Jisung lays back and puts his head on the pillows and lays his boyfriend on his chest as he caresses his hair. Jisungs heartbeat calms Minho’s tears. No words. No sounds. No chaos. Just love and affection. It’s simply warm intimacy without the need for sex. The world can wait, Jisung is busy making sure his love is okay and feels cared for and loved. 


	12. Scrabble

Things were going well for Changbin and Felix. They’ve been hiding the secret for about three months with no hiccups. However, they knew it wasn’t going to be this way forever. The other six were bound to find out eventually...

And “eventually” turned into today.

Changbin and Felix have a similar dynamic to the other six. But none of them knew about the other. Felix was sitting with Changbin on his lap, cuddling gyu, and was reading him a story. 

Changbins age usually ranges from 8 being the oldest, and 5 being the youngest. He loves his independence in little space, he loves his stuffie gyu, but he loves his caregiver the most. Felix loves the way Changbin would concentrate on the pictures and even tried to read by himself. They were midway through the book when the door suddenly opened.

“Hyung! I-” it was Chan.

Everyone stopped and Changbin started to panic. How could he have been so careless? What if Chan tells everyone? What if they think he’s disgusting? What if-

“Hyung! We can explain!” Felix says

Changbin felt his tears flow out of his eyes. Chan went over and pet his hair and handed him Gyu. “Hey, it’s okay! It’s okay! Come with me, I’m gonna sound crazy but come with me.” Chan says.

Felix knows the stress is probably making Binnie slip more and looks at the boy for approval. Changbin thinks for a moment before hesitantly nodding. He got off of his lap and grabbed his hand, looking up with large innocent eyes. The boys hearts clench and begin to follow Chan.

They stop at Minho’s room and Chan knocks lightly. “Sungie, Jinnie, I have a surprise for you.” He sing songs.

The leader is the only one who knows what’s going on. He slowly opens the door and bites back a laugh as everyone shares the same puzzled face and it immediately clicks.

Hyunjin is in his white romper overalls, and a light pink hoodie with matching socks and his hair like a whale spout with a darker pink scruncci. He was playing blocks with Jisung. Jisung is wearing a light yellow shirt and Minho’s loose grey joggers. He’s sucking on a aqua blue pacifier with baby ducks all over it.

They both look up and Jisung starts crying, he’s confused and frightened. Minho scoops him up and hushes him. “Appa, sca’ed” he cries. Everyones quiet as Changbin makes his way over to the boy and places his hand on his cheek. “It’s okay Sungie, Binnie make it better!” He says quietly and kisses all over Jisungs face until the boy is giggling and playfully pushes him away, smiling. Everyone coos and melts at the adorableness.

Jeongin breaks the silence “So...we’ve all been hiding for nothing.” And everyone starts laughing hard. The littles aren’t really sure why, but they laugh too. Jisung crawls off of Minho’s lap and goes to the blocks, handing them to Changbin who plays along and graciously thanks the boy every time. Hyunjin just giggles and watches the exchange until Sungie runs out of blocks. He frowns and looks at Changbin.

“Uh-oh Sungie! There’s no more blocks! Im just gonna have to take you!” He says as he pulls the younger into his lap and tickles him. Jisung shrieks with laughter and Hyunjin joins in by tickling Changbin. The caregivers take their little after a few minutes so there’s no accidents.

“Alright babies, it’s lunch time.” Seungmin announces. Changbin frowns.

“Hyungieeee, I’m not a baby. I’m a big boy.” Changbin whines with a small pout. The caregivers chuckle.

“Aish, okay, babies AND our big boy, it’s lunch time.” Seungmin says with a smile, and Changbin grins and grabs Felix’ hand as they all head to the kitchen.

Jeongin makes peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with a side of strawberries. Minho sets three sippy-cups filled with juice in front of them and pinches their cheeks. Changbin needs no help eating, but wants to help jinnie by ripping pieces off and setting it on his plate. Hyunjin smiles and eats them one by one. Jisung, however, sits on Chan’s lap and needs to be fed small bites so he doesn’t choke.

Everyone eats and the littles run into the family room. “Don’t run!” Four of them say at once, they pause and chuckle.

They clean up quickly and Felix and Seungmin bring in wet washcloths to wipe their babies down. They giggle at the texture, but no longer have sticky faces and messy hands. Jisung looks at Minho and whines. “What’s wrong baby boy?”

“Wet.” He pouts. Minho smiles and picks him up to go change the boy. He tells the others he’ll be right back and to pick a movie.

He lays a towel down on his bed and lays Jisung on top of it. Jisung actually is in a good mood today and giggles happily at Minho making silly faces as he wipes him. He wiggles as Minho tries to put the new diaper on and giggles as his Appa holds his hips still.

“You’re just a wiggly-wormy today, huh Sungie?” He asks. Jisung doesn’t answer, and gives him a gummy smile instead. “Aigo, you’re so cute baby boy.” He coos.

Once Jisung is dressed, they head back to the living room, which is now covered in blankets and has bowls of popcorn. Changbin is laying across his caregiver and holds Hyunjins hand, who is currently sitting in Seungmins lap with Seungmins arms around his waist as he happily sucks on his pink pacifier. Jeongin sits to their left with his arm around his boyfriend.

Minho settles between Jeongin and Chan and smiles when Chan offers him a blanket. Jisung burrows cutely between the two, settling on one half of each lap, and grabs their arms to wrap around himself. They laugh and kiss his head as the movie starts to play.

Hyunjin must’ve let Changbin choose the movie because it’s not a princess movie for once. They’re watching Up. Changbin watches quietly, completely focused on the screen. Hyunjin giggles at Doug and Russell, making the room smile. But quiet possibly the cutest was when Kevin the bird came on the screen and Jisung shot up, paci falling out of his open mouth, happily saying “Appa! Daddy! Duckie!!” While pointing at the screen.

Jisung gasps and whine when the man catches Kevin, and Changbin squeezes Hyunjins hand when it got a little intense and he heard the other whimper. They can already tell the three are going to get along very well. 


	13. Dress up

Hyunjin wakes up in his bed, alone. He hasn’t been in headspace for about a week and Jeongin and Seungmin are getting worried. He grabs his phone and scrolls through his private social media. He’s absentmindedly liking posts when something catches his attention.

_“If a guy wears a skirt or a dress, he’s not a man.”_

He just rolls his eyes and gets out of bed. He walks into the kitchen and is met with a very crabby Sungie sitting on a very amused Minho. Hyunjin grins “He doesn’t look happy.”

Minho looks over his shoulder at Hyunjin and laughs “Someone’s a little grumpy today, tell hyung why, Sungie.”

Jisung huffs cutely and tries to look angry “Bath day.” He explains and Hyunjin just nods to make him happy. He grabs a granola bar and goes to find his boyfriends.

He looks out the window and immediately slips into little space because perched on the windowsill is a blue butterfly. He gasps and rushes to find his hyungie and appa.

He runs into their room and finds them, not saying a word as he hurriedly pulls them back to the window. “Where are we going baby?” Jeongin chuckles, but Hyunjin doesn’t respond. He’s too focused on showing them the butterfly.

They finally get there and Hyunjins face lights up when he sees _two_ blue butterflies. He gasps and points, making his boyfriends smile internally at how easy it is to make their baby happy.

“Wow Jinnie! That’s so cool!” Seungmin gasps

“Hyungie! Appa! Pretty butterflies!” He says, completely amazed.

Jeongin smiles sweetly, “They ARE pretty Jinnie! Thank you for showing us!”

“Welcome appa.” He smiles

“We actually have a surprise for you baby.” Seungmin says. Hyunjins eyes go wide with interest. They take him by the hand and lead him back to the living room, where they sit him on the couch between them. Jeongin pulls out a package wrapped in polka dotted paper. He places it on Hyunjins lap and they laugh when he wastes no time in opening it.

He feels something soft and holds it up. It’s a light pink dress. He looks so excited for a split second, but then he frowns. His caregivers frown.

“What’s wrong princess? Don’t you like it?” Jeongin asks. Hyunjin frown deepens.

“Appa, I cant be princess. And I can’t wear dresses.” He says looking down

“Why not sweetie?” Seungmin asks

“‘Cause I’m a boy.” He pouts

Seungmin shoots Jeongin a look of concern. Jeongin gently makes the boy look up at him “Who told you that Jinnie?” Hyunjin doesn’t answer.

“Honey, just because you’re a boy doesn’t mean you can’t wear dresses or skirts or like girly things. You don’t have to be a girl to be a princess either. You appa and hyungies princess and nothing is going to change that. Okay?” Seungmin tells him. Hyunjin blushes and nods. They both plant kisses all over him till he starts smiling again.

“That’s better, why don’t we help you put your dress on, how does that sound?” Hyunjin smiles and follows them to the bedroom. Seungmin closes the door as Jeongin takes Hyunjins sweat pants off. Hyunjin squeals with laughter when they act like his shirt is stuck on his head then finally pull it off.

“Show hyungie how old you are on your fingers.” Seungmin says and Hyunjin enthusiastically holds up three fingers.

They praise him and decide it’s best to put on a pull up. Luckily Hyunjin doesn’t mind today and only whines because he just wants to put his dress on. Soon enough he’s standing and has his hands up as his appa slides the dress over his head and adjusts it so it’s more comfortable.

Hyunjin looks absolutely perfect in his new dress. The way the flowy fabric lays on him makes him look so delicate and sweet. The blush color compliments his skin and makes the other twos hearts stop. Their baby boy looks so feminine and looks genuinely happy.

“I pretty?” He asks shyly and Seungmin and Jeongin waste no time in reassuring him how beautiful he is and how good he looks.

“The prettiest, princess!” Seungmin says 

“So cute baby! Let’s go show the others how pretty you are!” Jeongin suggests.

Hyunjin hesitates and looks at the floor “no laugh?” And their hearts clench.

“Of course not baby, they would never laugh at you. Especially when you look as pretty as you do in your dress.” Seungmin says softly.

Hyunjin nods and hesitantly looks up, “appa?”

“Yes, sweetie?” Jeongin replies

“Paci?” And they pinch his cheeks at how sweet he is. Jeongin tells him to open and he slides the paci in the boys mouth. Hyunjin immediately starts sucking on it as they go to where Minho, Jisung, and Chan are.

They look up at the boys entering and pause for a moment. They see Hyunjin in a baby pink dress. They immediately coo and the two caregivers let out a breath of relief they didn’t even know they were holding.

“Aww! Jinnie, you look beautiful!” Minho says

“You’re so cute in your dress honey!” Seungmin gushes.

“Oh Jinnie! You are such a pretty boy!” Chan coos 

Even Jisung managed to get out a “pretty!”

Hyunjins face matched his dress as he hid his smiling face in Jeongins chest. They’re so glad this went as smoothly as it did. When Felix came back into the room with Changbin after the boys bath, he cooed and complimented Jinnie.

Changbin gasped and ran up to him, wrapping him in a hug as he kissed all over the boys head, telling him how good he looked. Hyunjins sweet little giggles made everyone smile and melt a little.

The four other caregivers know exactly what to buy to surprise him now. 


	14. Dot-to-Dot pt.1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not gonna lie, I have a lot of shit going on rn. So, when I’m not working, drowning in homework, or having a family emergency... I’ll update the best I can.

The trio have had quite possibly the best month ever. _Even with practice and recording new stuff._ They’ve been comfortably going into headspace with minor hiccups. The biggest issue was between Hyunjin and Changbin arguing over who got to cuddle I.N., but that wasn’t even in headspace. (They both got to cuddle him to solve it.)

But now they are starting to take longer breaks between headspace. Everyone sees that as a normality and isn’t really concerned when there is maybe a week gap in between the next time. They’ll ask the boys if they need to slip, and if they say no they’ll ask them if they _want_ to slip, and take care of them if they say yes.

Jisung has been in his adult headspace for a long time. Chan and Minho have been getting increasingly worried as each day passes, but Jisung genuinely doesn’t feel the need to slip.

Today, however, might be different.

Jisung rolls out of bed later than usual, no one woke him up. It takes three seconds for him to realize he has a headache. He pads his half-awake self to the hallway and immediately puts his head in his hands at all the noise.

Seungmin has the tv way too loud, Felix and Hyunjin are laughing, and Jeongin keeps trying to talk over the noise.

He goes to the hyung’s bathroom and opens the medicine cabinet, grabbing some ibuprofen and a paper cup to take them with water. He puts the round pills in his mouth and goes to swallow them down when the door flies open.

He knows from the sound that it’s Seungmin.

The water spills all over Jisung and he starts choking on the ibuprofen. Seungmin scrambles to help him, but Jisung has already refilled his cup and is gulping the water down so they don’t get stuck in his throat.

“My bad hyung” Seungmin says, still too loud for Jisungs head. He sighs and says it’s fine.

He goes to the kitchen where Jeongin is, they greet each other and Jisung pours himself a bowl of cereal.

“Where’s the three missing hyungs?” Jisung asks, referring to Chan, Minho, and Changbin.

“Theyre at a meeting with pd-nim, apparently it’s extremely important. They won’t be back till tonight.” Jeongin explains and Jisung nods, he’s kind of upset they didn’t tell him goodbye.

He goes to get the milk but is met with an empty container. He closes the refrigerator door a bit aggressively and chucks the carton in the recycling. He grabs a granola bar and an orange and goes back to his room and closes the door.

Jisung sits at his desk and eats his granola bar as he watches some YouTube videos. He finishes and goes to open the orange but he hisses and winces when in squirts into his eye. His phone falls to the floor. He goes to grab it but slams his arm on the desk and yells out.

Felix and Seungmin come into the room quickly at the noise and finds Jisung sitting on the floor with glassy eyes. He looks up at the two boys and his lip quivers. He takes in a shaky breath and tears start falling one by one.

Felix gets to him first and picks him up and hugs him in his lap on the bed. Jisung isn’t crying _that_ much, but they know what’s coming the minute he whines and says “Wan’ appa and daddy.”

Seungmin and Felix share a look of dread and grimace at the fact that Jisung will be going into little space without one of his main caregivers. “Honey...appa and daddy aren’t here right now-” Felix starts

“Tell em’ come home!” He says, the two know he’s starting to get worked up. He gets off of Felix’ lap and looks at them.

“Baby, we can’t, they’re in a big meeting right now.” Seungmin says cautiously. Jisung looks panicked and is trying to remain calm.

“N-no. Need appa and daddy.” His eyes are big and silently pleading that the two will make his caregivers appear.

“They’ll be back tonight, honey.” Felix says gently

“No! Want daddy! Want appa!” He yells as he collapses on the ground.

Seungmin and Felix look at each other again as Jisung starts to have what can only be described as a total meltdown.

His eye are flooding and his cheeks are bright red with tears and snot trailing down them. His breathing is sporadic and he flails around screaming about how he wants and needs his daddy and appa.

His movements calms and he stops yelling, but is far from calm. He starts hyperventilating and crying hysterically. Seungmin sits on the floor and pulls him into his lap and holds him with a comfortably tight embrace while Felix rubs his back. They stay like that until his panic attack fades.

They’ve never seen him so distressed. Neither of them even know if he regressed further because of it. They wait until the tears stop and he has his thumb in his mouth to speak.

“It’s okay baby boy, appa and daddy will be back tonight, okay? They didn’t leave you, I promise. You know, Fefe feels the same way.” Felix says.

Jisung sniffs “ ‘eally?”

“Mhmm, you see cause _his_ baby boy isn’t here either.” Seungmin says.

They smile when Jisung pouts and rubs Felixs arms to comfort him. They frown when more tears start to fall.

“Now what’s wrong Sungie?” They ask

“...miss Binnie ‘yung” he whimpers. They press kisses to his head till the crying stops. His eyes are red and puffy and his cheeks are flushed and have dried tears on them. Even his cute little nose is bright red and has snot running from it. Felix grabs a tissue and gently cleans his face.

“Hey Sungie?” Seungmin asks, he hums in response

“Would you like to help hyungs?” Jisung looks up curiously.

“How?”

“We need a little boy to take care of until ours comes home, do you know anyone that could fill that spot?” He asks and Jisung gives a small nod “oh really? Who?”

Jisung sniffles “...sungie?”

The two smile at each other and gasp “Really! Oh thank you so much Sungie!” They pepper him with kisses till he smiles and says a small ‘welcome’.

They carry him to Chan’s room where they diaper him and put him in Minho’s hoodie and Chan’s sweatpants. Felix gives him his pacifier and his duckie and he seems calm.

“There, are you all better now Sungie?” Seungmin asks and Jisung nods. They carry him to the living room and he lays in Felix’s lap. Hyunjin must’ve slipped when he heard Jisung crying because here he is with Jeongin, singing Do You Want to Build a Snowman.

Seungmin disappeared to the kitchen to make some lunch. Jisung isn’t watching the movie, rather he’s staring at Felixs face, completely amazed. Felix smiles “What’s up sungie?”

Jisung reaches up and runs his finger over Felixs cheeks. He looks so entranced and curious. Felix laughs “Those are my freckles baby.” And Jisung gasps.

Felix smiles warmly as Jisung traces his face, wanting to touch every spot. “Are you playing dot-to-dot with hyungs freckles?” He chuckles.

Jisung says “dot-dot!” excitedly, making Felix coo and nuzzle his face closer to Jisung, kissing his cheeks and Jisung squeals happily.

Jeongin watches the two bonding and melts when Hyunjin points and smiles. “Appa, isn’t them cute?” He says and Jeongin doesn’t have the heart to correct him. 


	15. Dot to dot pt 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey how you doin’ lil mama, lemme whisper in ya ear...  
> “...JYP... it’s free real estate.”

After Jisung had his meltdown, everything else went smoothly.

He and Hyunjin played with playdoh for a half hour. Jisung will not let Felix out of his reach for the life of him. Felix went to go the bathroom while he was focused on his playdoh sculpture, but he didn’t even get into the next room before Sungie started wailing. It broke his heart hearing Jisung cry “No leave! No leave!”

He had to set Jisung on the bathroom counter while he used the toilet. Jisung didn’t even care, he just wanted Felix.

Seungmin made the boys Mac and cheese for dinner and they had the same excitement as if it were a five star restaurant. Hyunjin insisted on sitting next to Jisung and feeding him. Jisung didn’t care and laughed when Hyunjin made the spoon sound like an airplane. Felix was glad everything was going well and noticed the others should be home in about five hours.

They cleared the table once everyone was done eating and set leftovers aside. Felix put Sung on his hip and lead Hyunjin by the hand to the living room where Seungmin was starting a film. It was The Little Mermaid. The second a fish came onto the screen Hyunjin lit up. He would not stop smiling at the fish and even insisted he was a mermaid. He grabbed Jisungs small feet and moved them around like a tail, making him giggle from where he was nestled into Felixs side.

“Jinnie, I no muhmaid. I sungie!” He smiles and everyone coos, making him blush cutely.

“But Sungie, look at your little tail!” Hyunjin giggled and Jisung scrunched his nose laughing.

“No Jinnie! Those my leggies! They fo’ walking, not swimming! You silly.” He laughs and Hyunjin just smiles and kisses his knee.

They finished the movie and were about to start another when Felix felt a small tug on his shirt and looked down to see Jisung patiently waiting. “What’s the matter baby?”

”potty.” He says and they’re off.

He helps the older with his pants and underwear and asks what the boy wants to wear.

“What do you want baby? Undies, pull up, or diaper?” Jisung looks around, thinking. He says a pull up and is quickly helped into one.

Felix washes his hands and carries Jisung back to the living room, he goes to sit Jisung on the carpet when he hears a small “cuddle”

“Do you want to cuddle sweetie?” Felix asks sweetly.

Jisung nods and they go to Chan’s room. They climb into bed, facing each other. Felix turns on a playlist of musicbox Disney songs and sets his phone on the headboard. He looks down and notices Jisung staring at him in amazement. He puts his whole hand on Felixs cheek and whispers “how??”

Felix chuckles “I don’t know sweetie, hyungie was born with them.”

Jisung nods and soon enough he falls asleep wrapped in his hyungies arms. 


	16. NoT a ChApTeR

I just lost my uncle two hours ago to cancer and I’m either going to not post for a while OR post a shit ton to keep myself busy, we’ll see what my chaotic healing ensues. 


	17. I’ll think of a chapter title later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to thank you all for your understanding and reassurance during my difficult time. I’ve had time to heal a little and I realized that the world is going through a rough time right now and I’m sure some of you would like a small distraction. Enjoy :)

“And that is exactly what I want for this comeback...” JYP says.

Changbin wants to pay attention, he really does. But this meeting is just so boring and stiff. He’d rather be back home with Felix binge watching a series and maybe even making out. He misses his boyfriend.

He resists the urge to huff and roll his eyes and instead pretends to be taking notes. He tunes in every now and again so he won’t be caught off guard if he’s asked something.

Changbin glances over to Minho and bites back a laugh because to the naked eye he looks completely normal, but Changbin knows better. He can see the irritated spark in his eyes towards JYP and his clenched jaw. Chan, however, is practically glowing with all of the praise JYP is giving him.

He sneaks a glance at the time and realizes how tired he is. It’s 22:38 (10:38 p.m.) They’ve been here for ten hours?! That explains the numbness in his toes. Luckily they weren’t there much longer because an assistant comes in apologizing, then whispers something in JYP’s ear.

“My apologies boys, I didn’t mean to keep you this long! Let me call a van and we can get you all home.” Jyp says

The boys thank him and soon enough they’re sat in the back of a company van. Chan to the right, Minho to the left, and changbin in the middle.

“I wish you could’ve seen your face hyung, you looked like you were ready to punch pdnim.” Changbin and Chan laugh. Minho smiles.

“I was.” He laughs.

They continue talking and Changbin pulls out his phone.   
  


**TO: Lixie 😍**

_Hey baby, we’re on our way home._

_Kinda wanna make out tbh, nothing past that tho (read 23:04)_

_Yay! Sungie misses his CG’s_

_and make out sounds good with me babe_

_I’ll let Chan and Minho know (seen 23:06)_

_okay_

They finally climb out of the car at 23:34 and wait for Chan to unlock the door. They come in and lock the front door and shuffle into the living room where Jisung is curled up on Felix’s lap in his Dino pajamas and cuddling his duck plushie. Felix smiles as a greeting. Chan and Minho smile and gently shake Jisung causing a small whine.

“Aigo, he’s so cute. Come on baby, wake up. Daddy and Appa are here for bed time. Sungie~.” Felix whispers gently waking the boy.

He wakes and rubs his eyes and clings to Minho and sleepily says hello to them and says a small “night lixie hyungie.” Before being carried off to bed, leaving Felix and Changbin alone.

Changbin grins and pulls Felix into a long kiss. “I missed you.” He says. Felix smiles into the kiss, making Changbin giggle against his lips. “I missed you too baby.”

Changbins head starts to get a little fuzzy and he grins up to Felix “Lixie pretty.”

Felix can tell by his little lisp that he’s slipping. He picks up the shorter and carries him to their room. “Really, baby is pretty too.”

Changbin blushes and hides his face in the youngers shoulder. “Like it when you call me that...makes me feel small.” He giggles.

“You ARE small baby, you’re my Binnie baby.” He says and Changbin just kisses his cheek. He puts on a random t shirt and boxers before dressing binnie in a pair of shark printed sleep shorts and matching shirt. He hands him gyu and lays him down next to him as the little spoon. He yawns cutely and says a small “night night.”

“Good night baby boy, sweet dreams.”

He doesn’t answer because he’s already asleep. Felix kisses the back of his head and drifts off to sleep. 


	18. Catch pt.1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angsty boi and swearing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to send in what you want me to incorporate into my writing and maybe even check out my other ones? I love y’all 💕

Eventually they were headed to bed for tomorrow’s show. Everyone was tucked in their lovers embrace (or embraces for the trio)

It’s an... interesting day.

Last night was fine! Changbin was attached to Felixs hip and was watching paw patrol while Felix pet his hair, Hyunjin was trying to help Jeongin with his math homework while Seungmin laughed at the sheer frustration they had, and Chan was watching his family with a proud little grin accompanying his dimples.

The next morning rolls around and it’s chaos as per usual. Seungmin woke up late, Chan can’t find his pants, and Jeongin got his braces stuck in a towel somehow. Even with all of that they still managed to make it there on time and start the filming.

Everything was fine and well... until...

“Lee Know! Sexy dance!” The hosts begged.

So, in all of his gay glory, he and that hideous green and white striped shirt put on a show that would put a stripper to shame. Jisung was honestly enjoying the view of his man dancing sensually and usually has no problems whatsoever with it. But then he had to go and strut over to the host and fake grind against him.

The room roared with shocked laughter and Jisung fake laughed when the host said his ears were red, but honestly Jisung could only _see_ red. For some ungodly reason it stirred up a deep feeling of jealousy, and he didn’t like it.

They finished up filming and thanked the hosts for their time and headed back home. The boys wouldn’t shut up about how well Minho did and how flustered he made that man. Jisung rolled his eyes and shoved his earbuds in turning the volume up to drown the rest out.

They head inside and Hyunjin tells them he feels small. They coo and his caregivers go to change him into his comfy clothes. This made Changbin slip and he was also helped by Chan.

Jisung just went to his bed and flopped down on the disheveled blankets. He was alone for about 15 seconds before Minho came in.

”Hey” MinHo greeted 

Jisung just gave him a bored look.

“Not feeling little today, huh?” Minho asks

“Nope.” Jisung replies snippily, Minho frowns “What’s wrong Jisungie?”

He rolls his eyes. Minho sits next to him but Jisung huffs and immediately sits across the room from him. “Jisung-ah. What’s wrong.” Minho asks.

“I said nothing is wrong, leave me alone.”

“Something is clearly wrong, you have an attitude. Are you sure you don’t need to slip?” He asks with genuine concern.

Jisung rolls his eyes and ignores him. Minho gets close to his face. “Do. You. Need. To. Slip?” He asks word by word.

Jisung snaps “No Minho! I don’t need to fucking slip! And you don’t have to talk to me slowly just because I didn’t answer you.” He shoves past the shocked elder.

“What is your problem Jisung!”

He scoffs “Are you blind? Or just dumb? No really, I’m curious because it’s looking like both.”

“I

_ ~Meanwhile in the living room~ _

Bickering could be heard. It was getting louder and louder with every second.

Hyunjin whimpers and covers his ears with his hands to block out the argument. His head is practically buried in the side of the couch when Jeongin and Seungmin decide to scoop him up and walk him to the other side of the dorms. Although the yelling can still be heard, it is less loud.

 _“Should I go intervene?”_ Chan wonders.

He shakes his head “No, this is a couples issue and it’s none of our business. I’ll intervene if it gets physical, which I doubt it will.” Chan sighs.

_ ~Back in the room~ _

“Is this about that stupid dance?” Minho asks, knowing he hit the nail on the head.

“Yes!” Jisung growls 

“You’re being fucking ridiculous!” MinHo yells

“Are you kidding me? _I’m_ being ridiculous? You were dying to turn that damn host on!”

“Oh my god!” Minho rolls his eyes and goes to walk away but Jisung backs him up into the room.

“Oh no! You wanna talk?? Then let’s fucking talk!” He screams.

“Okay! You wanna talk?? Let’s start with the fact that you’re acting like a little bitch!” Minho screams back 

“Coming from the same person who practically grinded on someone twice your age!”

“IT WAS PART OF THE SHOW! Gonna cry about it? Want me to go get your pacifier??” Minho yells.

Everything stops.

Jisungs jaw drops and he looks so hurt. Minho takes a second before realizing the true weight of what he said and freezes. His face morphed from anger to regret. His stomach drops and he knows he just crossed several lines.

He steps towards Jisung and reaches out his hand to brush his cheek. “Jisung I-“

“Don’t fucking touch me.” He slaps Minho’s hand away while his eyes fill with tears of frustration. Minho stands there in shock. Jisung storms out of the room, slamming the door, then proceeds to walk out of the dorms and slams that door as well.


	19. Catch pt.2

“ _Stupid_! Why did I say that!” Minho says to himself, rubbing his face frustratedly. Just then Chan comes barreling in.

“What the hell happened.” Chan asks calmly.

The younger just glances up at him with an exasperated look. Minho puts his hands over his face and screams, then drags them down. “I just made a big fucking mistake.” He groans.

The older boy sits and listens attentively to what Minho explains about the situation.

**_ ~Meanwhile, in the other room~ _ **

“Binnie, shhh, it’s okay.” Felix whispers into the olders ear. He’s craddling Changbins crying figure in his arms and attempting to calm him down.

“Jinnie, it’s okay honey. You don’t have to hide. Can you please come out from under the bed?” Seungmin pleads gently.

“No! Safe here!” Hyunjin says through his tears in a panicked tone. Jeongin continues trying to coax him out while Felix calls Seungmin over.

“Hey, what’s going on with Hyunjinnie?” He asks.

Seungmin sighs, “When he was younger his parents would argue constantly. He would hide under his bed so he could block out the noise. It’s his default safe space and he’ll only come out if we convince him to or if he deems it safe enough.”

Felix nods “Poor thing.”

They look over to the two and see some progress. Hyunjin isn’t against the wall anymore and doesn’t have his hands clamped over his ears. He's even allowing Jeongin to keep his hand underneath the bed.

“What can appa do to make you come out sweetheart?” Jeongin asks.

Hyunjin sniffles and mumbles “blubs”

Seungmin moves swift enough to grab Hyunjins stuffie quickly, but not rapid enough to scare the boy. He brings it so it’s in Hyunjins line of vision.

Sure enough, he slowly comes out. He immediately clings to Jeongins chest and cries on his lap. Seungmin sushes him and gently pets his hair.

They can already tell that it’s going to be a long night.

_** ~Jisung~ ** _

He doesn’t know how he got here. Well, obviously he does, he walked here; but he can’t remember the transition from the dorms to the JYP dance studio. He’s that mad.

Jisung shakes his head and restarts the music. He tries his best to focus solely on the choreography, on the intricate twists and turns, on the flow of his foot work, but he can’t. The argument keeps bleeding in around the edges of his mind.

He can practically hear Minho’s voice spitting that awful sentence at him.

“ _Want me to go get your pacifier??_ ”

Jisung drops to the floor and starts sobbing. He brings his knees to his chest and buries his head in them. Broken cries leave his mouth and fills his surrounding with the pitiful sound.

He knows part of it is his fault, but he can’t help but feel betrayed and utterly humiliated. It hurts that Minho would go there.

He lays there and allows himself to cry. And he cries till he feels nothing at all.

_ **~Back at the dorms~** _

Chan pinches the bridge of his nose and closes his eyes.

“You said that to him? ...Jesus Christ. You- I-...” Chan sighs. “This is bad. Like really bad.”

“I know! I feel fucking awful.” Minho groans “I don’t know what to do other than apologize.”

Just then, the front door opens and Jisung walks in with a red nose and glazed over eyes and a dead look on his face. Minho rushes up to him and pulls him into his arms.

“Baby, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean any of that, okay? I was just so frustrated.” He looks and Jisung is just standing there stiffly, completely untuned to what’s going on around him. Minho frowns and lets him go. He immediately continues what he was doing and walks back to his room and gently shuts the door.

Minho just stands there in shock of what just happened. He sputters before whispering “It’s like he didn’t even _see_ me.”

He goes over and gently knocks on the door. “Jisung-ah...it’s me, can I come in?” No answer. Minho waits a second before opening the door and going in.

Jisung is curled into a ball facing the wall, and upon further investigation is just staring at it. “Jisung-ah I-“

“How could you?” Jisung says quietly.

“Baby, I-”

“You took the one thing where I’m the most vulnerable and-” what started off with void of all emotion turned into broken sobs.

Minho brings him into his embrace once more and rocks him back and forth while holding back his own tears. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you. I wasn’t thinking and it just came out. I love you so much honey, I’m sorry.”

“D-on’t do it again. It really h-hurt.” Jisung cries.

“I promise I won’t, love. Promise.” Minho soothes.

Jisung sniffles and wipes his face “okay.”


	20. Talk down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m back, didn’t mean to leave for so long 😬

It’s been about a week since the big fight and only SOME things have gone back to normal. Mainly the meals and chores. Everything else, however, not so much.

For the first three days Hyunjin would barely leave his room, and when he did he stayed very close to it. If anyone talked a bit too sternly, or if a noise was a little too loud; he’d instantly regress and flee to the place under his bed. He wouldn’t cry, but he’d be distressed and anxious and wouldn’t come out till the dorms were quiet or Jeongin and Seungmin convinced him he’s safe.

Changbin has been more independent and typically in an older headspace, but really hasn’t been affected overall.

Jisung, however, has been miserable. He sees the other two regress so effortlessly and wants to do it too. But he just can’t. He’s already made up with Minho, and even slipped later that night...but it hasn’t been the same since. He hears the little voices in the back of his head telling him “not to slip” and that he’s “just a inconvenience to the others.” So he just sucks it up and ignores the urge till he feels nothing.

Every time he sees his pacifiers he’s filled with frustration and hurt. He even went as far as whipping one at the wall and shoving the rest in the closet.

He knew it was just a matter of time before Chan and Minho sat down with him. So here he was, sitting cross legged on Chan’s bed holding onto his pillow, with Minho diagonal to his left, and Chan to his right.

“I’m fine.” Jisung says. Chan shoots him an unconvinced look.

“You know how I feel about lying Jisung. It’s okay to not be okay, but it’s NOT okay to lie about it.”

Jisung puts his head down and sighs, “I’m sorry hyung.”

Chans expression softens and he places his hand on Jisung’s knee. “It’s alright. You’re not in trouble, we just want to know what’s keeping you from being your authentic self.”

“I think we know what it is, but we just want to make sure. We want to help in whatever way we can Jisung.” Minho says.

Jisung takes a deep breath “Well... it’s just that... I don’t know. I just see Jinnie and Binnie slip so easily and I can’t. Every time I want to I feel like a burden and that it’d be easier on both of you if I just left you alone. I’m sorry for making you worry hyungs.”

Chan and Minho nod to show they are listening. “There’s nothing to be sorry for. And you’re not a burden to us, you’ll never be a burden to us Jisung. Okay love?” Minho says.

“Okay hyung.” Jisung sighs

“Thank you for telling us. Would you like to slip?” the eldest asks 

Jisung desperately nods his head but frowns “But I can’t.”

“Would you be comfortable with us talking you down? It’s completely okay if you don’t want us to, and we would 100% understand and respect that.” Chan offers.

Jisung fiddles with his fingers and avoids eye contact. “How does that work?”

Chan smiles, “It’s when Minho or I, or both, will slowly fade into talking to you as if you’re in littlespace. We can ask questions or suggest things and eventually you might slip.”

“We will only do this if you’re comfortable Jisung, we are here to help you.” Minho adds.

Jisung bites his lip and stares at his lap. “Can I try it with just Channie-hyung? Please.”

Minho flashes Chan a quick look of devestation before masking it. He pets Jisung’s hair back, making the boy look up at him, and smiles softly. He kisses his forehead, “Of course baby. Just call if you need me.”

And with that, Minho stands and exits the room, closing the door quietly. Jisung plays with his hands shyly, cheeks turning pink when he looks at Chan.

“Are you ready?” Chan asks, and Jisung nods.

“How has your day been Jisung?”

He tilts his head and furrows his brows, not expecting the first question to be so normal.

“I-...uh it’s been fine?”

“You didn’t stay up too late, right sweetheart?”

Jisung just shakes his head no, as if he were in a trance.

“What have you done so far?”

“I woke up, showered, got dressed, and ate breakfast.”

“Good job! What did you have for breakfast?”

Jisung started to feel a tiny bit fuzzy “I had cereal and fruit.”

“Did someone help you, honey?”

Jisung shook his head and had a small smile, “Did it all by myself.”

Chan gushes, “I’m proud of you baby boy! You did well.”

Jisung giggles and blushes “Thanks”

Chan smiles and puts his hands on Jisungs waist, pulling him a bit. “Here, come sit on daddy’s lap, baby.”

Jisung let’s Chan pull him and he curls up comfortably, placing his head on the elders chest. He whines a little to get Chan’s attention.

“Yes baby boy?”

“Duckie n’ movie please.”

Chan chuckles and rubs Jisungs back before picking him up and grabbing the yellow stuffie across the room. He gives it to the boy who makes a cute little noise and cuddles it to his cheek.

He sets Jisung on the couch and goes to pop in a movie. “Which one baby?”

Jisung thinks for a second before gasping “Little Chicken!”

Chan smiles and slides in Chicken Little before sitting on the couch. Jisung immediately crawls into his lap and burrows his head in his chest.

‘ _Finally_ ’ Chan thinks to himself. 


	21. Update

Hi y’all. I know I’ve been away for awhile and I am still not completely back. I haven’t had any motivation to work on this fic, so I will be starting something new soon and I’ll return to this when I get inspiration.   
  


* * *

H O W E V E R 

* * *

I will be editing ALL of my works that have Kim Woojin involved and I will either be replacing his place or writing him completely out of the fic.   
  


> There are certain things in the real world that I will NOT tolerate. And that is:

  1. sexual assault/harassment
  2. rape
  3. victim blaming
  4. lying
  5. bullying
  6. racism
  7. sexism
  8. homophobia
  9. transphobia
  10. toxic personalities   
  




If you have a problem with my decision and still want him here, go support manipulative abusers SOMEWHERE ELSE. 

(And for those of you who still want to be here and respect my opinion, I love you and I hope you’re flourishing babe 🥺❤️)


End file.
